The Meanings of Pain
by InkaCajo
Summary: Max learned a lot about emotions from Logan but she's about to discover that she has even more to learn from an unexpected source-Alec
1. How Manticore deals with Pain

Title: The Meanings of Pain  
Author: InkaCajo  
A/N : this is my first fic so be gentle. This takes place after "Love Among the Runes". This fic is going to be heavily M/A though I might have to work up to it. I want to keep everybody in character so I have to break down some walls first. I hope ya'll like it . Enjoy!  
  
Chapter 1  
  
The moon was bright enough for even non-transgenics to see by. That didn't help matters. It was hard enough as it is- the fighting. The dying on both sides was traumatic. Sometimes it was difficult for Max to remember that these were just people. Normal, sacred people. But that didn't bring Biggs back to life or any of the others who had fallen to these so-called normal people. That didn't excuse it. Not by a long shot. She had taken the night watch because she just needed some space. Put it into perspective. But Max knew she needed to give that up. The world had gone crazy overnight. What place does reason have in a crazy world? None, on the other hand....survival-  
  
" Hey Max." She jerked and tensed for the split second it took to recognize Alec's voice.   
"Alec." She relaxed and sighed wishing he would go away. She really wanted to be alone right then.   
" Night watch? Don't you need some rest or something? Somebody else could take post. You don't have to try to do everything yourself." Alec slipped in his observation casually but Max didn't seem to hear the tone.  
" Listen Alec, Manticore genes are good for something. I'm not tired at all and if I don't do this then there's really nothing else to do. I don't feel like just waiting around and I don't feel like talking. Satisfied?"   
Alec held up his hands in a gesture of surrender, " Fine Max, but while your eyesight is great I know for sure that there's a whole load of transgenics in there with even better. And yeah, I do know how to take a hint. Or whatever you want to call it. So I'll just leave you alone. If you ever want to talk you know where to find me." He turned away, obviously offended then stopped and turned back slowly. " Max" She looked up. His face was still. Not teasing. No fun and games. Serious. " Remember what we learned in Manticore- about pain?"   
Max felt as if his question had just pushed her 10 years into the past.   
Bald children in fatigues stood watching the drill sergeant as he slowly prowled back and forth , a slender poker in his left hand. The end glowed red. It was hard to look at the man and not the poker. So red. "What is pain for a soldier? You have a job to do. A mission to accomplish. As a soldier all you need to know about pain is this : Is it necessary to the mission?" He swung the poker's red hot tip and stopped just short of one of the children. " Or is it in the way? If it's the latter- it's unnecessary. Leave it behind. Don't let it get in your way." He let the poker touch the bald slight boy. The boy stood very still. Incredibly still. His eyes were watering but he didn't make a sound. " Pain doesn't kill you but mistakes caused by pain will." He dropped the poker. The boy breathed shallow breathes. The drill sergeant took in all the children with his gaze, " Remember that soldiers."  
  
For a moment the flashback was so potent that Max could almost imagine the smell of burning flesh. Then she was back and angry. So angry. " I'm not in Manticore. They were sick to teach us that and you're sick to remind me of it. I love Logan and now he's gone. My whole world is gone. Everyone knows about us and it may never be safe again. I'll never have the hope of being semi-normal again." Her brown eyes flashed with pain, anger and the pure satisfaction at having someone to vent all her frustrations on. Alec stood without a word. " Now will you excuse me while I deal. In the last few days I lost a lot of things. I'm not going to just cover it up with the Manticore- cure-all-soldiers's-duty bandaid."   
Some of her satisfaction evaporated when Alec just turned and walked away without another word. Belatedly she realized that he'd been trying to help her. Max pushed away guilt. It was Alec. She doubted her words did anything other than annoy him.   
She was wrong. 


	2. Pain Taylor-made

Title: The Meanings of Pain  
Author: InkaCajo  
Disclaimer: Mine in an alternate universe. Too bad this isn't an alternate universe- Dang it!  
A/N : Thanks for the reviews. They really inspired me to write this part which is even longer than I planned. I really appreciate it! Being my first time posting it took me a while to figure out how to read the reviews. I think I already forgot. Oh, well at least I know how to post a part. Here it goes. Hope ya like it!!   
  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 2  
  
  
  
  
The plan was perfect. Yet, that didn't give Alec any solace. In the field, a perfect plan was just a theory. There was always something that you could have seen and prevented only in hindsight. He'd been on countless missions where something went wrong just because the universe liked to f*ck with you. He hoped today wasn't one of those missions.   
Logan had tracked down the convoy that was coming into Seattle to deliever the transgenics that had recently been captured with whatever new technique they had figured out to spot transgenics who looked like humans. Max had been real gung-ho. Maybe even a little too much. It was obvious that she was still upset about the whole Logan thing.   
"Great, we can ambush them there. We should round up all the transgenics who can pass then come from the rooftops here and here." Her eyes were steady as she pointed out the ambush sight on the map.   
"I don't know Max. It feels like a trap." Alec studied the map, resenting himself slightly as he fell into soldier mode. Same old, same old.  
Max flushed with sudden anger." We're not just letting White and his men have them. We're going to rescue them Alec."  
Alec turned with a cocked eyebrow." Of course we're going to rescue them. But how about you take half the human looking transgenics and I take the other. One of us goes in and attempts the rescue. If it's a trap then the moment they try to close on you we can flank them."   
As quickly as that Max got ahold of herself. Alec was right. It probably was a trap and she had almost lead them right into it. It irked her that Alec was the one to point this out to her so she just nodded and and said, " okay, let's suit up." His hazel eyes flickered a moment and then he turned away.  
  
So here they were. Max tried to calm the anticipation she felt lying on the rooftop. The convoy was an armored van escorted by sector police before and behind. The area was relatively deserted with shambling structures crowding in on the roadway. Perfect for an ambush. The van seemed to be moving slowly. Almost too slowly. Max gave the signal and suddenly the van and the police cars were rolling over metal tacks. The first car swerved and the van crashed into it. The third stopped just in time. Max and four other X-5's jumped on top of the vehicles. With the police cars it was easy to just shoot through the roofs but the armored van required explosives. Max had just finished setting the explosives and yelling to the transgenics inside to get out of the way when a bullet almost gave her a new hair cut.   
Out of nowhere had come reinforcements. For a split second the transgenics were outnumbered, then shadows moved and the reinforcements were picked off one by one. Alec had arrived with his team to flank the agents neatly. Max shot him a grateful look as the van door exploded and the transgenics hustled out. Whatever else he was, Alec was a good soldier.   
Triumphant, they returned to Terminal City. Tonight there would be a little celebration, sure thing.   
  
Terminal City sounded joyful. Everyone was having a good time. With the extra man power and the morale boost it seemed things were going their way for the time being. With such a relaxed atmosphere, Max felt some of her guards let down. She spied Alec chatting with some others about foreign campaigns. Maybe she should go over and tell him he did a good job. She knew she had been really bitchy with him lately. So she walked over.   
" Hey Alec." He turned from the card game he had started watching. His expression was blank as if he didn't know how to respond to her. Probably thought she was going to bite his head off again over something trivial. Max held back a wince. She had been at him worse than she thought.   
" Hey, Max." His expression remained noncommittal.   
Max took a deep breath and said tried to project friendly thoughts." You did really great today, at the ambush. I know I tend to act ..." Max searched for a word.  
"Bitchy?" Alec said with a helpful smirk.   
Max frowned." No, I was going to say tense."   
" It's fine Max. I think I've gotten used to it. If you were ever nice to me I'd keel over dead from shock." He said it so dryly with that slight twist of his full lips that she wasn't sure if he was joking or not.   
"Well... whatever it is I just wanted to say that however much you annoy me, you're somebody I'll trust with my back." The words came fast as if Max didn't want Alec to really notice them. Too late. He started grinning at her.  
"Max. I didn't know you cared. Don't worry, I've got your back-and any other piece of your anatomy you want to trust me with." He said it with a wink. He had incredibly long lashes. Max flushed and spun away from him with her hands clenched. Just when she was actually trying to build some rapport with him he had to get on her nerves.   
After that Max managed to avoid him for almost three days.  
  
The vidscreen encounters with Logan could get tense but she still clung to them. After all at least this way she could see and talk to him. It wasn't difficult when they talked shop. Nothing major had happened for the last three days and their talks had grown progressively more silent, more full of troubled glances back and forth. That's why she was almost relieved when Logan reported that another transgenic had been taken. It was off to the rescue again. What a relief, waiting was one the hardest parts of battle. The operation was easy. Since that last ambush they had more human looking transgenics to work with. Also, they had a lucky break when Orignal Cindy had spotted the agents take the girl down. Hopefully, they could rescue the girl before the agents got a lot of back up. It worked like clockwork. The girl was slightly wounded but not bad. Max got off her bike and took a look at the girl. She must be a X-5. She looked just that age. It didn't surprise Max that she looked beautiful. Her hair was raven black and her eyes were ice blue. Her figure hourglass perfection. She vaguely reminded her of some pre-pulse actress. Liz? Taymore? Taylor? Something like that.  
"What's your name?" Max asked.   
"X-5 477. Thanks for back there. You?" The girl tilted her pretty head.  
"Max." She noted the puzzled look the girl threw her at the name." X-5 452." Max added.  
Max lead her into the Terminal City headquarters. Great, another Manticore brainwashee who hadn't even picked out a name. She began to show the girl around and introduce her to everyone. Max then spied the Alec's slightly curly head of hair as he was bent over a map. She thought about avoiding him but as if he had heard her thoughts, at the moment he looked up and spotted her. Max stiffened as if in preparation for something unpleasant. She wasn't ready for a confrontation now. But then Alec's gaze moved from her to the girl at her side. His eyes widened and he straightened.   
Max looked to see the raven haired girl break out in a radiant smile. Where before she had moved slightly stiff and soldier-like now she acted like a little girl and ran to Alec and threw her arms around his neck.   
" Commander 494!!!! I can't believe you're here." Max looked on with unbelieving eyes as Alec broke out in a genuine smile.  
"Cut out the Commander stuff. And I actually have a name now. Call me Alec." Her eyes went wide.  
" A name?" She said it with the awe that children ascribe to fairy tales.   
" Don't worry, everybody gets a name here. We'll have to find one for you too." Alec talked to the girl with the wide blue eyes as if she was someone special. Someone innocent to be protected. For once he was talking without sarcasm. Somehow Max found it rather unsettling.   
Get ahold of yourself Max, she told herself, you're just surprised that Alec could find it in him to not act like a jerk. The girl was staring up into alec's hazel eyes as if they were the only thing in the room. She still hadn't quite let go of the front of his jacket.   
Max decided to step in. " How about Taylor? She looks like an old-time actress by that name." Alec and the girl startled slightly and refocused on the intrusion. Max felt something twist inside. She ignored it.   
"Taylor." The word lingered on the girl's full red lips. She looked up to Alec and he was nodding. Her mouth widened into a smile. " I like it. My name is Taylor."   
" Taylor it is! Don't worry Max, I'll finish introducing her to everybody. Come on." He lead her away by the hand. She looked entirely too pleased with the simple gesture.  
Max forced herself to turn away. Who cares what Alec did? Especially when it came to females. Especially that. Max walked up to the vidscreen and decided to check if Logan was in. Even now, with things like they were , the sight of him made her feel better. And she needed to feel better because for some reason at the moment she didn't feel all that good. Max took another glance in Alec and Taylor's direction. No, she didn't feel good at all. 


End file.
